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-americanhorrorstory:

American Horror story freak show teaser 

Posted July 28th | 44211 notes | Reblog | Like

daftpostpunk:

my dying words better be “im going ghost”

Posted July 28th | 368484 notes | Reblog | Like

"

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.

3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.

6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

9. Don’t dumb it down.

10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

12. Never park in front of a bar.

13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

17. Never lie to your doctor.

18. All guns are loaded.

19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.

20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.

21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.

23. A handshake beats an autograph.

24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.

26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.

28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

31. Eat lunch with the new kids.

32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.

33. It’s never too late for an apology.

34. Don’t pose with booze.

35. If you have the right of way, take it.

36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.

37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

38. Never push someone off a dock.

39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.

41. Don’t make a scene.

42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.

43. Know when to ignore the camera.

44. Never gloat.

45. Invest in good luggage.

46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.

47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.

48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.

49. Give credit. Take blame.

50. Suck it up every now and again.

51. Never be the last one in the pool.

52. Don’t stare.

53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.

54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.

56. Admit it when you’re wrong.

57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.

58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.

59. Thank the bus driver.

60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.

61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

62. Know at least one good joke.

63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.

64. Know how to cook one good meal.

65. Learn to drive a stick shift.

66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

68. Dance with your mother/father.

69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.

70. Always thank the host.

71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.

73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.

74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

75. Keep your word.

76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.

77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.

78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.

79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.

80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.

81. You are what you do, not what you say.

82. Learn to change a tire.

83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.

85. Don’t litter.

86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.

87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.

88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.

89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.

90. Make the little things count.

91. Always wear a bra at work.

92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.

93. You’re never too old to need your mom.

94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.

95. Know the words to your national anthem.

96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.

97. Smile at strangers.

98. Make goals.

99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.

100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.

"
a high school teacher’s list of 100 wisest words (via live-la-bella-e-vita)

Posted July 28th | 827156 notes | Reblog | Like

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFF

  • 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
  • 2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
  • 3. Have you taken someones virginity?
  • 4. Is trust a big issue for you?
  • 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
  • 6. What are you excited for?
  • 7. What happened tonight?
  • 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
  • 9. Is confidence cute?
  • 10. What is the last beverage you had?
  • 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
  • 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
  • 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
  • 14. What are you going to spend money on next?
  • 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
  • 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
  • 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
  • 18. The last time you felt broken?
  • 19. Have you had sex today?
  • 20. Are you starting to realize anything?
  • 21. Are you in a good mood?
  • 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
  • 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
  • 24. What do you want right this second?
  • 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
  • 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
  • 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
  • 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
  • 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
  • 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
  • 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
  • 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
  • 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
  • 34. Listening to?
  • 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
  • 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
  • 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
  • 38. Who did you last call?
  • 39. Who was the last person you danced with?
  • 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
  • 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
  • 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
  • 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
  • 44. Do you tan in the nude?
  • 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
  • 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
  • 47. Who was the last person to call you?
  • 48. Do you sing in the shower?
  • 49. Do you dance in the car?
  • 50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
  • 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
  • 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
  • 53. Is Christmas stressful?
  • 54. Ever eat a pierogi?
  • 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
  • 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
  • 57. Do you believe in ghosts?
  • 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
  • 59. Take a vitamin daily?
  • 60. Wear slippers?
  • 61. Wear a bath robe?
  • 62. What do you wear to bed?
  • 63. First concert?
  • 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
  • 65. Nike or Adidas?
  • 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
  • 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
  • 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
  • 69. Ever take dance lessons?
  • 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
  • 71. Can you curl your tongue?
  • 72. Ever won a spelling bee?
  • 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
  • 74. What is your favorite book?
  • 75. Do you study better with or without music?
  • 76. Regularly burn incense?
  • 77. Ever been in love?
  • 78. Who would you like to see in concert?
  • 79. What was the last concert you saw?
  • 80. Hot tea or cold tea?
  • 81. Tea or coffee?
  • 82. Favorite type of cookie?
  • 83. Can you swim well?
  • 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
  • 85. Are you patient?
  • 86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
  • 87. Ever won a contest?
  • 88. Ever have plastic surgery?
  • 89. Which are better black or green olives?
  • 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
  • 91. Best room for a fireplace?
  • 92. Do you want to get married?

Posted July 28th | 1483601 notes | Reblog | Like

acid-bubble-gum:

✰✰✰

acid-bubble-gum:

✰✰✰

Posted July 28th | 17152 notes | Reblog | Like

bagmilk:

earthdad:

Kinda rly like a girl what do I do

image

Posted July 27th | 204014 notes | Reblog | Like

lamewhiteperson:

When kids scream in public

Posted July 27th | 87987 notes | Reblog | Like

"Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul."
Charlie Chaplin in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine (via thoughtsfromnora)

Posted July 27th | 631676 notes | Reblog | Like

vioforte:

chainsawpunk:

chainsawpunk:

how much lube do you need for anal ? ?

a buttload

image

I do not have enough

Posted July 27th | 130124 notes | Reblog | Like

myselfisme:

Don’t Say “That’s So Gay” Campaign (Wanda Sykes) [ x ]

How about a round of applause.

Posted July 27th | 259524 notes | Reblog | Like